31 August 2009

How it came to be

No, I am not talking about how Trinogamy came about in general, becuase honestly I don't have a clue... or really care for that matter. So time for a little back story, promise I will keep it as brief as I possibly can.

I (one of the guys) met the love of my life almost 4 years ago, she was absolutely perfect in every single way. She was beautiful, witty, sarcastic, stubborn, and she meant everything to me. Unfortunitly, I had a problem with internet porn and sending sexually charged emails to other women. I say that it was a problem becuase, even though I saw how much it hurt her when I did that kind of thing I couldnt stop. Oh, I WOULD stop for about 4-6 months at a time, but then for some reason I would stop doing it again. Eventually, she got tired of me hurting her and breaking her heart when I did that, so she left me. I was devestated (to say the least), I became severly depressed and went from a chubby 210lbs to a crack addicts 160lbs in ABOUT 3 weeks. That about 18 months ago. After she left she did what people are supposed to do when they leave (or are left), she dated, saw other people, tried to move on with her life.

Then, I was sent to a not so great place with bullets and bombs that is far far away. While we were seperated she met and fell in love with another man. It just happened, there is nothing I can say other then that. She did leave him right before I left and we got back together and vowed that we would make our marriage work. Unfortunitly about 3 months later she found profiles that I had made on a couple web sites, and regardless of the reasons that I made them, the fact is that I DID it. So after that, and a few other things that I did, she was completely done with me. She built walls around every once of love that she had for me and sealed it away deep within her heart and hoped that it would never again see the light of day. After that hapened she started seeing the other guy that she fell in love with.

So how did we all end up in a Trinogamous relationship? The answer is actually really simple. She LOVES both of us. The two of us complete her the way that she completes the two of us. No, niether one of us is bi-sexual in the slightest bit, but we want her to be happy more then anything in the world. So instead of making her kill a part of herself (and one of us) by making her choose, we all decided that we would all be together.

You may be thinking "she is just being greedy", but honestly she is NOT being greedy or selfish in any way. We all know our hearts, and for hers to be complete she needs to have both of us, and neither him or I can live without her. Yes, we all live in the same house and we all raise the kids together. Granted, this has all happened very recently and we are still in the early stages. Which is why I thought that this blog would be so important, so that all of you who are reading it will have been there in the beginning.

Trinogamy and what it is

Trinogamy is basically the practice of having 3 people in a commited relationship. Yes there is alot more to it, but the nuts and bolts gist of the idea is that 3 people are all in a relationship. No, it is not an OPEN relationship, becuase you are not going out trying to find more people or sleeping around or any of that. You are COMMITED! In most Trinogamous relationships there is at least one bi-sexual individual, or 2, or hell all 3 or none at all can be bi-sexual, it doesn't matter.

This life style is HARD and is not for everyone. If you thought that trust issues were hard when it was just 2 people together in a relationship, just imagine what it would be like with 3. I am making this blog partly becuase I could not find anything like it on the web... and trust me, I LOOKED! I wanted to share people a snap shot of our lives together... explain how we handle (or try) different things, such as affection, trust, love, time, and kids (yes, 2 kids). And how we came to BEING Trinogamous.

Anyone that has happened to run across this blog, will probably have done the EXACT same thing that I did, and that was to just do a search for "Trinogamy" becuase you either heard a friend mention it or saw it on TV or whatever. Hopefully, after reading my words about our experiences and our LIFE it will help you to make an informed decision on if you think that you can make this life style work for you.